This week I've averaged 2 hours of sleep. The week before it was 3. At this rate, in two weeks, I won't be sleeping at all.

The thing is that this has happened before, I'm not unfamiliar with this. But the last time it happened when my aunt passed away so that was kind of understandable, I guess? And it fixed itself after 6 months, by which point I was used to working on less sleep.

Unfortunately, it's been 3 years since that happened and now I'm used to sleeping for more than 6 hours a day, so it's a terrible inconvinience. I'm hoping it will fix itself this time too, but I kind of doubt it.

The worst part is that I'm generally a very content person, I don't stress out about a lot of things. So the fact that I can't sleep because of stress is baffling. I'm constantly worried about what will happen in May, when my fellowship ends. I need to have a job, or maybe I want to have a job. Idk. The reason I gave my parents for not going to grad school this year is that I want more experience, which is true because just this fellowship will get me nowhere. Not to mention my sad GMAT score.

*takes a deep breath* I have 4.5 months. I can do this. All I need to do is fix my CV because I'm a 23 24 (still not used to it!) year old who can't write a good CV. It's so confusing! If I write too much about what I've done, I feel like I'm boasting. If I don't write too much then I know I'm underselling. ARGH!
(I won't even mention Cover letters and the fact that I've never written one in my entire life.)

As a result of all the stress and sleep depriviation I'm spending my days like a zombie. I'm working, then studying, then just laying on bed staring at the ceiling. I so wanted to catch up with Erised, get started on my other fic but I just can't concentrate.

What do you do when you can't sleep? I generally listen to music, but I think that's also stopped working.

Moving on to other news - there was a meme on tumblr that made me realise that the question I had to think hardest about was a place that makes me happy. So clearly my life needs more happiness.

This is why I've decided to the 100 Days of Happiness challenge. I think I need it.  :)